昨夜，我太紧张了，紧张得把书包遗漏在别人的家。
一方面，我已经知道明天要做的事，一方面，我又担心抗拒明天要做的事。
是的，那声音对我说：“那是他的生命，什么都不做，保留现状，他至少会活59天，但你现在送他抗氧化剂，会不会刺激他体内癌细胞的抗战而提早杀害它们长期以来挟持的人质？”
虽然韩国教授的保证还言犹在耳，但我心里始终七上八下。
所以昨晚无可避免的发了恶梦。
今早，闹钟无情的呼唤了。它提醒我是时候执行任务。
我战战兢兢的开车，战战兢兢的摇电话给他的主治医生——最后一个不肯放弃他的医生。
我说：“我可以这样做吗？”
他回答：“只要你确定这是货真价实的抗氧化剂，那么就尽力而为吧！它没有副作用的。”
于是我第一次大清早（8点了）摸上门吵醒他，然后看着他喝下30ml的抗氧化剂，然后寸步不移的等待奇迹......或可怕的好转反应。
一个小时过去了，两个小时过去了，原来没什么反应，我一边松一口气，一边感到若有所失——是不是已经完全药石无灵了？
但我还在等待奇迹，因为我相信奇迹，只要你一直都没有放弃过与祂一起去创造。
2010年8月30日星期一
831可以916吗？
明天831，一个本来应该高兴的日子，但因著东马的普南人和许多其他原住民没有得到尊重，恢复不了尊严，我快乐不起来！
明天831，一个本来应该庆祝的日子，但因著贪官横行，司法不彰，贫富悬殊的鸿沟预告著即将到来的大崩坏，我又怎么忍心去庆祝？
所以明天831，我需要一身肃穆的黑和一朵哀悼的白！
黑，为的是深沉自省自己的共犯行为——我没有在应该站起来时站起来，我没有在应该说话的时候说话，我没有用更好的方法积极主动服侍小的，赋能弱的，就是无可推诿的共犯。因为祂说，知道善不去行，就是罪了。
白，为的是诚心悼念已经为大未来上路又陪上了自己的许多先行者；我但愿有道德勇气，去踏上他们已经奋力开拓的窄路小门，即使荆棘满途程。
当然，我仍然盼望831可以916！
因为真独立必须展现在你我他，都可以用最严格的标准，检视自己是否在爱国的时候真正的爱了人民，而不是谄媚了统治者！
明天831，一个本来应该庆祝的日子，但因著贪官横行，司法不彰，贫富悬殊的鸿沟预告著即将到来的大崩坏，我又怎么忍心去庆祝？
所以明天831，我需要一身肃穆的黑和一朵哀悼的白！
黑，为的是深沉自省自己的共犯行为——我没有在应该站起来时站起来，我没有在应该说话的时候说话，我没有用更好的方法积极主动服侍小的，赋能弱的，就是无可推诿的共犯。因为祂说，知道善不去行，就是罪了。
白，为的是诚心悼念已经为大未来上路又陪上了自己的许多先行者；我但愿有道德勇气，去踏上他们已经奋力开拓的窄路小门，即使荆棘满途程。
当然，我仍然盼望831可以916！
因为真独立必须展现在你我他，都可以用最严格的标准，检视自己是否在爱国的时候真正的爱了人民，而不是谄媚了统治者！
2010年8月29日星期日
第一次介绍美女
Sharyn Lisa Shufiyan, 24
Conservationist
(Tunku Abdul Rahman’s great granddaughter)
“Both my parents are Malay. My mum’s heritage includes Chinese, Thai and Arab, while my dad is Minangkabau. Due to my skin colour, I am often mistaken for a Chinese.
“I’m happy that I don’t have the typical Malay look but I do get annoyed when people call me Ah Moi or ask me straight up: “Are you Chinese or Malay?”
“Like, why does it matter? Before I used to answer ‘Malay’, but now I’m trying to consciously answer ‘Malaysian’ instead.
“There’s this incident from primary school that I remember till today. Someone told me that I will be called last during Judgement Day because I don’t have a Muslim name. Of course, I was scared then but now that I’m older, I realise that a name is just a name. It doesn’t define you as a good or bad person and there is definitely no such thing as a ‘Muslim’ name. You can be named Rashid and still be a Christian.
“I’ve heard of the 1Malaysia concept, but I think we don’t need to be told to be united. We’ve come such a long way that it should already be embedded in our hearts and minds that we are united. Unfortunately, you can still see racial discrimination and polarisation. There is still this ethno-centric view that the Malays are the dominant group and their rights must be protected, and non-Malays are forever the outsiders.
“For the concept to succeed, I think the Government should stop with the race politics. It’s tiring, really. We grew up with application forms asking us to tick our race. We should stop painting a negative image of the other races, stop thinking about ‘us’ and ‘them’ and focus on ‘we’, ‘our’ and ‘Malaysians’.
“No one should be made uncomfortable in their own home. A dear Chinese friend of mine said to me once: ‘I don’t feel patriotic because I am not made to feel like Malaysia is my home, and I don’t feel an affinity to China because I have never lived there’.
“I know some Baba Nyonya friends who can trace their lineage back hundreds of years. I’m a fourth generation Malaysian. If I am bumiputra, why can’t they be, too? Clearly I have issues with the term.
“I think the main reason why we still can’t achieve total unity is because of this ‘Malay Rights’ concept. I’d rather ‘Malay Rights’ be replaced by human rights. So unless we get rid of this bumiputra status, or reform our views and policies on rights, we will never achieve unity.
“For my Merdeka wish, I’d like for Malaysians to have more voice, to be respected and heard. I wish that the Government would uphold the true essence of parliamentary democracy. I wish for the people to no longer fear and discriminate against each other, to see that we are one and the same.
“I wish that Malaysia would truly live up to the tourism spin of ‘Malaysia Truly Asia’.
转载自：http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2009/8/29/lifefocus/4522906&sec=lifefocus
说她美，是因为她的心，和她选择像正常人那样思维——在一堆把自己说成人，而露不出人样的东西中，她挺珍贵。
我们应该多加珍惜。
Conservationist
(Tunku Abdul Rahman’s great granddaughter)
“Both my parents are Malay. My mum’s heritage includes Chinese, Thai and Arab, while my dad is Minangkabau. Due to my skin colour, I am often mistaken for a Chinese.
“I’m happy that I don’t have the typical Malay look but I do get annoyed when people call me Ah Moi or ask me straight up: “Are you Chinese or Malay?”
“Like, why does it matter? Before I used to answer ‘Malay’, but now I’m trying to consciously answer ‘Malaysian’ instead.
“There’s this incident from primary school that I remember till today. Someone told me that I will be called last during Judgement Day because I don’t have a Muslim name. Of course, I was scared then but now that I’m older, I realise that a name is just a name. It doesn’t define you as a good or bad person and there is definitely no such thing as a ‘Muslim’ name. You can be named Rashid and still be a Christian.
“I’ve heard of the 1Malaysia concept, but I think we don’t need to be told to be united. We’ve come such a long way that it should already be embedded in our hearts and minds that we are united. Unfortunately, you can still see racial discrimination and polarisation. There is still this ethno-centric view that the Malays are the dominant group and their rights must be protected, and non-Malays are forever the outsiders.
“For the concept to succeed, I think the Government should stop with the race politics. It’s tiring, really. We grew up with application forms asking us to tick our race. We should stop painting a negative image of the other races, stop thinking about ‘us’ and ‘them’ and focus on ‘we’, ‘our’ and ‘Malaysians’.
“No one should be made uncomfortable in their own home. A dear Chinese friend of mine said to me once: ‘I don’t feel patriotic because I am not made to feel like Malaysia is my home, and I don’t feel an affinity to China because I have never lived there’.
“I know some Baba Nyonya friends who can trace their lineage back hundreds of years. I’m a fourth generation Malaysian. If I am bumiputra, why can’t they be, too? Clearly I have issues with the term.
“I think the main reason why we still can’t achieve total unity is because of this ‘Malay Rights’ concept. I’d rather ‘Malay Rights’ be replaced by human rights. So unless we get rid of this bumiputra status, or reform our views and policies on rights, we will never achieve unity.
“For my Merdeka wish, I’d like for Malaysians to have more voice, to be respected and heard. I wish that the Government would uphold the true essence of parliamentary democracy. I wish for the people to no longer fear and discriminate against each other, to see that we are one and the same.
“I wish that Malaysia would truly live up to the tourism spin of ‘Malaysia Truly Asia’.
转载自：http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2009/8/29/lifefocus/4522906&sec=lifefocus
说她美，是因为她的心，和她选择像正常人那样思维——在一堆把自己说成人，而露不出人样的东西中，她挺珍贵。
我们应该多加珍惜。
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